Mitchell's+page

Hi everyone I'm mitchell and I can't work out how to insert an upside-down question mark. = THIS PAGE IS COPYRIGHT!!!!!!! (C) (C) (C) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =

= GRAPH!!!!! =

Where are these? Research that=)
SPACE  It's swimming in gray stuff?

HOLIDAYS we went to the Blue Mountains. YAAY! We also went to Jenolan Caves and saw 3 caves, Orient, Imperial and Lucas. pics:

JOKES

Harry Snotter!
===One day two cows were chatting over the fence between their two fields. The first cow said, "I'm telling you, this mad cow disease is getting pretty scary! I've heard it's spreading so fast that it's already on Farmer Rubin's land just down the road!"===

Quackers!
===Below are genuine announcements made by Tube Drivers on the London Underground. (The Tube is the London underground system). ===

===At Camden town station (on a crowded Saturday afternoon): "Please let the passengers off the train first. Please let the passengers off the train first. Please let the passengers off the train first. Let the passengers off the train FIRST! Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like Sardines, see if I care, I'm going home." ===

==="Ladies & Gentleman, upon departing the train may I remind you to take your rubbish with you. Despite the fact that you are in something that is metal, fairly round, filthy and smells, this is a tube train for public transport and not a bin on wheels." ===

==="Ladies and Gentlemen do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news is that last Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had a great time. I felt sadly let down by the fact that none of you sent me a card! I drive you to work and home each day and not even a card. The bad news is that there is a point's failure somewhere between Stratford and East Ham, which means that we probably won't reach our destination. We may have to stop and return. I won't reverse back up the line - simply get out walk up the platform and go back to where we started. In the mean time if you get bored you can simply talk to the man in front or beside you or opposite you. ===

==="Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from elbow and backside syndrome, not knowing his elbow from his backside. I'll let you know any further information as soon as I'm given any." ===

==="Please mind the closing doors..." The doors close... The doors reopen. "Passengers are reminded that the big red slidey things on the side of the train are called the doors. Let's try it again. Please stand clear of the doors." The doors close... "Thank you." ===

==="I am sorry about the delay, apparently some nutter has just wandered into the tunnel at Euston. We don't know when we'll be moving again, but these people tend to come out pretty quickly...usually in bits." ===

==="Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologise for the delay to your service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction." ===

==="Ladies and gentlemen, we apologise for the delay, but there is a security alert at Victoria station and we are therefore stuck here for the foreseeable future, so let's take our minds off it and pass some time together. All together now 'Ten green bottles, hanging on a wall...'." ===

==="We are now travelling through Baker Street, as you can see Baker Street is closed. It would have been nice if they had actually told me, so I could tell you earlier, but no, they don't think about things like that." ===

==="Beggars are operating on this train, please do NOT encourage these professional beggars, if you have any spare change, please give it to a registered charity, failing that, give it to me." ===

"Step right away from the sauna, ladies and gentlemen. Unfortunately, towels are not provided."
==="Please allow the doors to close! Try not to confuse this with: 'Please hold the doors open'. The two are distinct and separate instructions." ===

===<span style="background-color: #00ff00; color: #4800ff; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS',cursive;">"Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means that the doors are about to close. It does not mean throw yourself or your bags into the doors." ===

===<span style="background-color: #00ff00; color: #4800ff; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS',cursive;">"To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage - what part of 'Stand Clear of the Doors' don't you understand?" ===

===<span style="background-color: #00ff00; color: #4800ff; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS',cursive;">"Please move all baggage away from the doors (Pause..) Please move ALL belongings away from the doors (Pause...) This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train - put the pie down, four-eyes, and move your bloody golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your butt!" ===

<span style="background-color: #04d50b; color: #821bc8; font-family: Impact,Charcoal,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;">STUFF = In Order Of Stupidity... =

Packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)?
=== Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) ===

Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
=** Astrological light bulbs **=

**Pisces:** Lightbulb? What lightbulb?

 * D

illusions

<span style="background-color: #008000; color: #821bc8; font-family: Impact,Charcoal,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;">PICTURES [[image:supernova1987.gif width="188" height="189"]]


=== ki-hoog-nhoo ﻿===

<span style="background-color: #821bc8; color: #00ffff; font-family: Impact,Charcoal,sans-serif; font-size: 140%;">CHICKENS

Answer: Neither, roosters don't lay eggs.
My chicken is called Chicky. He is very cute and has the biggest chicken house in 5J. He likes apples and flying things. =<span style="background-color: #808000; color: #00ffff; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS',cursive; font-size: 120%;">INTERVIEW WITH CHICKY!!! = Me: Hi Chicky. Today we're going to have an interview! Chicky: But I want to eat almonds and drink my juice box. M: You can eat almonds and drink your juice box after we finish the interview. C: But I want to do that now ! M: (sigh...) NO. C: But...but WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA =We'll be right back after this tantrum= M: Okay. Ready to start? Froggy: Hi guys! C: Hi Froggy! M: (sigh...bleh urh) M: Froggy, I'm having an interview with Chicky could you be quiet? F: I could but I don't want to. M: STOP IT! F: Okay. C: It's 8:00 already! M: But we need to......honk...shhh C: [yawn] =TO BE CONTINUED........ well, one day= = Why did the chicken cross the road? = === GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here. ===

=== AL GORE: I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people. ===

=== RALPH NADER: The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV. ===

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
=== RUSH LIMBAUGH: I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross. ===

=== MARTHA STEWART: No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information. ===

=== JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side. That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." ===

=== BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road. ===

=== BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken. ===

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
<span style="background-color: #800080; color: #ffff00; font-family: Impact,Charcoal,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;">EMOTICONS